How To Survive In Lagos

Be mad...

You've probably heard this a thousand times and you've thought "oh to survive in Nigeria, you have to be mad". Lagos mad is the ultimate mad and it's either you beat them or join them(in this case,you can't beat them,so you know what to do)
Lagos is the known as the busiest city in Nigeria; what you don't know is,Lagos is God's own zoo. He placed the wild animals, sorry wild humans there for exhibition.
I've lived in Lagos for 19 years,probably became a Lagosian at age 16. So here are few tips I gathered for the foreigners in Lagos:

1. Be Mad: Trust me,

Lagos mad is different, when you get there you'll learn.  It's literally a craze competition here(who mad pass) . I see people come from other parts of Naij and think their madness matches the ones of Lagosians....dey play!!
In Rome,you behave like the Romans..therefore you must be mad like Lagosians

2. Be sharp:Have a sharp mouth,a voice that has a mix of agbero(calling them thugs doesn't hit.. bear with me)because you'd meet people who will try to intimidate you.  So you have to raise your voice constantly to ascertain dominance,else you'd be eaten (dog eat dog =Lagos)
Have a sharp pocket knife! I've not tried this yet,but haven't you seen people calm down when agberos break bottles on their heads? You must also have your own weapon!(incase you need to threaten someone to act right)

3. Learn their lingo: How else are you supposed to communicate if you don't know their lingo.

Learn Pidgin;Learn Yoruba. It's a Yoruba man's land,so you have to learn their language
Learn igbo..Igbo people know other tribes are too lazy to learn their language and they use this advantage to gossip or cheat you under your nose(okay...I'm spilling too much)
Learn Hausa: Hausa people love it when you speak their language..like very happy.  Makes them feel like they've found a long lost relative in this "No man's land"

4. Be Vigilant: This is highly important.  Always be aware of your surroundings.  EVERYONE IS YOUR OP IN LAYGURZZZZZ,so shine ya eyes! Anything and everything happens in Lagos, that's why you must take security education serious.
    In addition, always BE PREPARED like the Boys' scout. Lagos is an unscripted movie without double retakes.  Different crazy things happen and no one waits for anyone to recover from shock..plus they barely interfere in stuff, I mean the Lagosians. If they figure out there's nothing in it for them of they don't know you...it's your battle not theirs.

5. Be kind: Finally, be kind.  In all of this madness, be the reason why someone doesn't consider suicide.  Be polite...give compliments...assist old people or people in general (okay,half of them might want to use you for rituals but don't worry!! Your God will fight for you!!!) Be friendly, I remember as kids we used to complain that my mum was friends with anyone and everyone but to be honest, I've learnt the importance of making friends with everyone.

Few of these rules definitely contradict each other, you'll figure it out when you get here. I might have left some important things out. Mind your business, especially when it comes to market fights!!!!! Always try to be safe. Wind up your windows in traffic even if your car has no AC ,because it's on the streets of laygurzz you find the real madness.

    Always say a prayer before you begin the daily madness.  Remember, it's Lagos...the city of craziness ✨️✨️✨️ Oh it's excellence 😅😅

Like...share...and comment if you want to hear about my last crazy experience on the streets of Laygurz😘